Novel Review: On A Pale Horse

On a Pale Horse by Piers Anthony
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The first time I read this book was during high school. At the time I really enjoyed it and went on the read the rest of Anthony's "Incarnations of Immortality" series and I have been a fan of that series ever since.

That was half a lifetime ago, and as the oldest of my children is rapidly approaching her own adolescence I find myself revisiting the literary highlights of my youth in order to provide her with suggestions for her own library.

On a Pale Horse explores some interesting viewpoints on life, death, and the nature of progresstion from one the former to the latter. It does so with a fun adventure, full of vibrant characters and a few moments of tongue-in-cheek satire. It does all this in a rather adolescent, heavy-handed sense of humor and a decidedly "naughty teenage boy" approach to romance and sexuality.

I liked the idea that good and evil are completely separate from wrong and right. And that much of the burden on the soul is put their because of the guilt a person takes on after doing what is right.

The mechanics of the world are interesting, and even though the author presents the ethical dilemma's of the characters a bit ham-fistedly, the overall product is enjoyable, and mostly appropriate for teenage readers, while being naughty enough to remain interesting in a "forbidden fruit" sort of way. His metaphor for cognition using the matchsticks seems a bit jarring throughout the book, and feels like it was forced in there after the fact to explain actions that really didn't need it.

I remember an interview with R. A. Salvatore in which he states (and I'm paraphrasing here) that he wasn't writing books to address all the subtle questions of right and wrong that we face in adulthood, but that his books are to address the bigger ideas that we try to grasp in our youth, and in such a way as to be understandable and interesting to someone of that age group. Anthony accomplishes this here, and my 14-year-old self would probably give On a Pale Horse a full five stars. My married, child-raising, adult self looks at the interactions and says, "Nobody acts like that".

I assign personalities based on the books of theirs I have read. I think Neal Stephenson would probably be condescending but also cool enough about it to be fun to hang out with. Patrick Rothfuss would be great to hang out with, but he's probably too busy today. Piers Anthony comes off as kind of pompous in a way that follows the artiste stereotype. Not that I've ever met the guy, but when his author's note is fully a tenth the size of the book, it comes off as a little full of one's self.

Overall, a good book for the right reader. And a fun series to revisit. Looking forward to joining up with Father Time in book 2.

View all my reviews

Toeing The Line Between Fun And Responsibility

There are many reasons to love South Dakota.  There is no state income tax.  The Black Hills are beautiful both this and every other time of year.  It houses some of the most fertile farmland in the United States.  And it is super cheap to register your car.  While these are all excellent reasons to love my home state, there is another that outshines them all.

Relaxed laws regulating the use of fireworks, at least in some towns.

That's right.  This is a 4th of July post.

Yes I know the 4th was last week.  This is my life now.

First I should give some you some of my pyrotechnical background.

As a child I had very little exposure to anything other than sparklers.  I grew up in Rapid City and was always told that fireworks were banned in city limits for fear of starting a wildfire.  My mother never much cared for them, so they weren't a part of our midsummer celebration.  Before my late teen years I count only two experiences involving fireworks.  Once was at the home of a family friend, while my mother and stepfather looked on in disapproval.  The other was with my father, watching him fire off a few for my entertainment on a hill overlooking Fort Pierre before being shooed away by a police officer.

It wasn't until I was a young man of fifteen years, flush with the disposable income of a professional part-time dishwasher, that I was able to purchase seasonal explosives for my own use.  Of course, the fact that they were illegal in town was part of the thrill of the occasion for me and my friends.  Most of our time was spent finding a suitably hidden location for our combustible exploits. Each of us in the group was a young Prometheus, fleeing the wrath of those in power in order to experience the thrill of recreational fire.

Since those days I have grown up and found a career in the casino entertainment industry.  One of the realities of said vocation is that holidays are for working.  We are at our busiest on days traditionally reserved for leisure.  And so, like many other holidays, my Independence Days are spent at work, helping other people relax and have some fun.

I've been blessed in many ways to be at the casino where I currently work.  Not the least of those blessings has been my schedule.  Along with great days off and phenomenal hours I was not scheduled to work on the 4th this year.  This is the first Independence Day I have not had to work in ten years.  That predates the both my marriage and the the birth of my oldest child.

I was finally able to spend the 4th with my family and it.. was.. AWESOME!  We spent the morning touring potential homes and had a great family lunch at one of our favorite restaurants.  We returned home to buy fireworks and start putting dinner together.  My Princess and I put together a short pre-dinner home fireworks display to the great enjoyment of Chunky Monkey.  Then we feasted on grilled brats with all the traditional summer sides.  After Princess and I ignited the rest of our fireworks it was time to put my son into bed.  Great-Grandma stayed home with Chunky Monkey and the rest of the family headed off to the city baseball field for the fireworks extravaganza.

Extravaganza is really the only applicable word here.  The local show in this small town is absolutely world-class in every way.  Put on by a local business owner (who also holds a Pyrotechnics Guild International license) at no cost to the city, this annual show is always the talk of this small town.  I had heard it described before but until this year I had never experienced it.  It began with a ground show.  This year's theme was "Godzilla".  Three different Godzilla monsters were made out of fire.  They attacked Tokyo, also made of fire, only to face defeat at the hands of a battalion of tanks also made out of, you guessed it, FIRE.

And that was just the first act.

It was followed by an hour-long aerial show featuring massive sky-flowers, ground based fountains, and explosions that could be felt deep in the gut.  All this was launched a mere 450 or so feet from where we sat.  Calling it grandiose would be an understatement.

Ears still ringing and slightly singed, we finally staggered back to bed at a completely indecent hour.  It was easily the best 4th of July I have ever experienced.

No matter where I end up in life, no matter how far away I make my home, I will always try to return back here in midsummer.  These folks know how to celebrate the 4th.

A Preview Is Easier to Make Than a Movie.

I've been lax in my blogging lately.

I make excuses.  Maybe I'm suffering from writers block, maybe I'm too busy with the new job, or maybe I'm still discombobulated from all the change this summer.

And yet I feel guilty about my silence  As if I am somehow obligated to my handful of (beloved) readers and the internet as a whole.  I will try to do better.

During this transition period I have been listening to a lot of Coheed and Cambria, the concept-rock group out of New York, based on the recommendation of my good friend, The Professional Appreciator.  I hope to encapsulate my opinions regarding the band for a future post.

I have also learned the exact art of producing genuine Bohemian Plum Dumplings from my wife's grandmother, and I will be passing the recipe on soon.

Before this big transition I read The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (again thanks to the P.A.).  The second film adaptation of this book produced in the last three years is scheduled to hit theaters by the end of the year.  I have two hopes for my upcoming review of the novel.  First, that I manage to put it together before the movie comes out.  Second, I hope that it is not nearly as superfluous as the most recent film adaptation.

Of course, Princess and The Chunky Monkey have been doing some very awesome and funny things.  I hope to relate some of the stories of their summer adventures.  And of course there is the upcoming third...

I plan to relate all of this intermittently throughout the summer.  Plus some lessons learned both in the casino pit and in the oblivion of unemployment. I hope you'll enjoy it. 

It It Over Yet?

In a word... no.

But there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  After six long months, I have begun work at a new job.  I love being part of the opening of a new casino, and this new company that I am working for is great.  It is so refreshing to get out from under the boot of corporate bureaucracy and back to working for and with actual human beings.  I think I am going to be very happy with this company.

My new employment will mean some changes here at The Raconteur Daddy.  First of all I will no longer attempt to produce new posts on a deadline.  I hope to keep a high level of quality and feel that I can only accomplish this by posting only when I have something to say.  I will also be removing the ads from my blog.  I'm not a professional blogger, nor do I wish to be.  Google and Amazon will have to find a way to continue doing business without my support, and I wish them all luck in doing so.

I have nothing but appreciation for all of you who have read this blog and hope you will continue to do so.  I appreciate having the time to work through this transition period in my life and hope to come back soon with more to share.

30 Day Music Challenge: Day 15

Day 15: What song do you hate the most?

Easy answer, but I couldn't tell you why.  I've hated this song from day one and I always will.  Thankfully it is no longer popular and I doubt it will ever make it into "classic 80's" airplay.

Horrible song, Horrible Band. 'Nuff Said.

30 Day Music Challenge: Day 14

Day 14: What was your first music purchase?

That one I remember well.  I had just started seventh grade and turned thirteen a few months before.  I had some birthday money left over that my mom said I could use to buy whatever cassette I wanted.  I don't remember what led me to choose this album.  I wasn't a fan of the band (yet) and don't remember hearing of them until I got the album.  Everybody I knew was snatching up Nirvana's Nevermind which had come out a few weeks before and I wanted to try something different.

Here's My favorite song from that album.

That's right.  Despite my sheltered Midwestern upbringing and all-around uncoolness during my adolescence, I was a fan of Pearl Jam before they hit the big time.

Fun Fact: Despite the general assumption that Pearl Jam rode Nirvana's coattails to success, Ten came out weeks before Nevermind, it just took longer to become popular in the mainstream.

30 Day Music Challenge: Day 13

Day 13: What son represents the 00's to you?

What kind of question is this?  The 90's were hard enough to try to sum up.  The first decade of the 21st century is was too recent to be able to pick a song that represents it well.

So instead, here's one of my favorite songs and videos of the decade.

There you go.

30 Day Music Challenge: Day 12

Day 12: What song defines the 90's for you?

I'll start with the song this time, then do my best to defend it.

Here's how I figure it.  This song protests "The Troubles" in Northern Ireland which began in the 60's but pretty much wrapped up in the 90's.  The 90's also say the popularization of Grunge music with it's power chords and melancholy lyrics, which I think are well represented in this song.  I also wanted to showcase one of the few Irish bands to be popular in the US in the 90s.  I can only think of U2, The Corrs, The Cranberries, and Sinead O'Connor that fit that criteria.

The 90's also say the decline of the female rock vocalist.  There has been a shortage of them for the past 10 years, which is as depressing a fact as I can think of.

30 Day Music Challenge: Day 11

Day 11: What song defines the 80's to you?

Holy cow.  I thought the defining song of the 70's was hard.  Just an FYI, the following albums all came out during the 80's

Appetite for Destruction
Thriller
Hysteria
Slippery When Wet
Purple Rain
Like A Virgin
Back in Black
The Joshua Tree
Open Up and Say AHHH
1984
Pump
Born in the USA

Every one of those is iconic in it's own genre, and a few of them rise above classification.  It was during the 80's that I became aware of music as an art form, and the music of that decade was the soundtrack of my childhood.

Here's the 80's defining song, IMHO:

David Lee Roth was the anthropomorphic personification of the 80's.  Period.

30 Day Music Challenge: Day 10

Day 10: What song defines the 70's to you.

This is actually a pretty tough one, since for me the 70 are experienced only through other people's experiences. So here's what I got for you.

So here's why.  The 70's were a fantastic time for music.  Many of the elder statesmen of music, all genres, were in their heyday during that time.  There was a lot going on.  Disco, while not my favorite type of music, could not be ignored during this decade.

Pinball Wizard encapsulates much of the feeling of the 70's.  The style and theatrics are a nod to the disco culture, but The Who can only be defined as a rock band.  Even Elton John, who's performance is the most iconic, was known at the time as a rock musician, rather than the glam pop persona he is today.

It is not the best Who song, nor is it my favorite song of the decade, but I think it represents the decade quite well.

30 Day Music Challenge: Day 9

Day 9: What is the earliest song you can remember from your childhood?

There are a lot of them.  Some I've mentioned in earlier posts. I remember this one from my preschool days.  I have no idea why it was popular with a bunch of four-year-old kids, but there you go.  It just goes to show that some things were "going viral" long before the internet existed.

Who knew John Oates, Kenny Loggins, Grizzly Adams, and Huey Lewis could make something so iconic together?

30 Day Music Challenge: Day 8

Day 8: What was the last song you listened to?

Actually, I've been so busy that I haven't had too much time to listen to music.  The last time may have been on Monday when I had to drive across town on an errand for he church.  I know for a fact that I listened to this song on the drive.

This song is rapidly becoming my favorite Killers track.  I like the dissonance that lurks just below the surface.  And you just can't go wrong with Lou Reed

30 Day Music Challenge: Day 7

Day 7: What song do you play when you're chilling out?

One thing I find as a grown up is that I rarely have time to chill out.  One of the reasons that I'm doing this 30 day blog challenge is that I don't have time right now to sit and type out a long post.  So I have to think back to the last time I've been able to just relax and enjoy some tunes.

That being said, I do feel more calm and relaxed when listening to some songs.  Here are a couple of them.

I love the lyrics to that one. "We lived in the noise and the sweet amber poison."  Reminds me of good times with good friends.

And Leonard Cohen is simply the coolest person ever.

30 Day Music Challenge: Day 6

Day 6: What Song do you play when you're angry?

I've never considered myself an "angry person".  When I do get frustrated or upset, it usually passes very quickly.  I find that if I spend some time yelling at people in my mind, I am much more patient when I deal with them face-to-face.  That being said there are some great angry songs out there.

Again, I feel that I need to post two songs here.

30 Day Music Challenge: Day 5

Day 5: What song do you play when you're feeling sad?

Elton John had it right when it comes to sad songs.  It feels so good to hurt so bad, and suffer just enough to sing the blues.  Melancholy songs have been a staple of my listening palate ever since the days of puberty.  Even today, when I am for the most part happier than ever with my life, I still get down occasionally.  When I do, I love nothing more than to turn on some music and listen to the sorrows of others.

As an added bonus, here's another great one.

30 Day Music Challenge: Day 4

Day 4, What song do you play when you're feeling happy?

Well there are a lot of them, but one of my all time favorite good time songs is right here.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, QVC presents, live in your living room, AC/DC!!!!!!!!"

Sorry about the inside joke intro.  Unless you're the among the handful of people who got it.

Daddy Can Cook: Dinner For Two

Fathers have a lot of responsibilities.  We want to be everything to everyone, and we often find ourselves spread too thin.  Projects at work, raising the kids, and keeping the home in good repair all take time out of our schedule.  And more often than not, the only time you have left to spend with your wife is in a state of mutual torpor.  

The husband with too little time to spend with his wife is one of my most hated stereotypes.  Nevertheless, I often find myself wishing for a few hours to unwind and enjoy the company of my mate.  I find that one of the best ways to get that time is to share a meal.  If you really want her to swoon over you, cook that meal for her.

Here's a tasty (and fairly healthy) meal that will impress.

First off, here's what you'll need.

Main Dish:  Pork Tenderloin with Candied Onions

1 unseasoned pork tenderloin

1 medium red onion

2 Tablespoons Brown Sugar

1 Tablespoon Olive Oil

1 teaspoon Apple Cider Vinegar

Side Dish #1:  Rosemary Potatoes

3 medium potatoes

2 teaspoons coarse salt

1 Tablespoon dried rosemary leaves

2 Tablespoons Olive Oil

Side Dish #2: Asparagus Spears

1 Bunch of Asparagus Spears

1 Tablespoon Butter

Salad: Spinach and Strawberry Salad

1 Bag of Spinach

10 Medium Strawberries

1 Package of plain crumbled Feta cheese

1 bag of slivered Almonds

Bottle of Raspberry vinaigrette Dressing

Heres how to prep it.  

Call a babysitter or grandparent and have them take the kids to dinner and a movie.

Now wash your spinach and slice your strawberries.  Toss them together in a medium bowl, cover, and refrigerate until ready to serve.  

Start your oven preheating to 400 degrees.  Remove both ends and all of the papery skin from the onion and slice thinly.  If you cut it vertically, you'll get slices, cut it horizontally and you'll get rings; use whichever you prefer.  Next you need to cut the pork tenderloin into 1 inch thick medallions.  Place the pork medallions into a very hot skillet for 1 minute on each side, just to get a nice brown crust.  Remove the pork from the skillet and put it into a shallow baking dish.  Do not clean out your skillet, put your sliced onions right in there and let them start cooking.  After the onions have cooked for about a minute, add the olive oil, sugar, and cider vinegar.  Cook onions over medium heat, stirring frequently, until they become soft and slightly translucent.  Spoon the onions into the baking dish, using a spatula to scrape all of the sauce over the meat.  Put the baking dish into the oven and bake uncovered for thirty minutes.  When finished, serve medallions covered with a generous helping of onions and juices from the dish.

Now the side dishes.  Peel and wash the potatoes, then cut them into 1 inch cubes.  Put them into a covered microwaveable dish and microwave on full power for five minutes.  While these are cooking, cut the bottom two inches off of the asparagus stalks and put them into a microwaveable dish with 2 Tablespoons of water. Heat the 2 Tablespoons of Olive Oil in a skillet (either clean the one you cooked the pork in or a use a new one) over medium-high heat.  When the potatoes have finished in the microwave put them into the hot skillet and sprinkle the salt and rosemary over them.  Put plastic wrap over the asparagus and microwave on full power for five minutes.  Depending on your confidence in the kitchen, either toss or stir the potatoes until all sides have become a nice golden brown.  When the asparagus finishes in the microwave, drain the water, add the butter and re-cover until the butter melts.  Once the butter has melted, use tongs to toss asparagus until evenly coated.

Now get your salad out of the fridge, portion it into two salad bowls, use your fingers to crumble feta cheese and almonds over the top and drizzle lightly with dressing.  

Plate and serve main dish and think of some conversation to remind your wife why she chose you in the first place.

Novel Reviews: Fever Dream by Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child

As a child, I distinctly remember feeling mild sorrow whenever I finished a good book.  I loved the time that I spent with the characters and I wanted to know what happened to them after I had turned the last page.  I would create their new adventures from the whole cloth of my imagination, and live out those adventures with my friends amid the lush backdrop of the Black Hills of South Dakota.  Over time my desire for an ongoing story evolved into a deep love for serial fiction.

I was first introduced to the collaborative works of Preston and Child by my mother-in-law during the early days of my marriage.  I started by reading The Cabinet of Curiosities, which was printed in 2002.  I followed that up by finding the other works these authors have produced and reading as much of it as I could.  Thankfully, the two of them have been quite prolific since the late 90's, producing 15 novels in that time with two more announced.

By far the most captivating character the authors have created is FBI Special Agent Aloysius X. L. Pendergast.  He is very much the American answer to Sherlock Holmes.  He maintains the mannerisms and gentility of the Old-World aristocracy and handily steals every scene.  Imagine Hannibal Lecter was one of the good guys, you'd have a pretty good approximation of the character.  Paramount Pictures owns the character rights to Pendergast, which they included when they optioned Preston & Child's first Pendergast novel, Relic.  Then, in true Hollywood form, they created a terrible adaptation made even worse with the removal of Pendergast's character.

In Fever Dream, Preston and Child's most recent collaboration, Pendergast begins with a shocking realization.  His wife Helen, now dead for twelve years, was murdered.  He enlists the aid of his longtime friend NYPD Lieutenant Vincent D'Agosta and together they travel to Africa to begin compiling clues.  D'Agosta's girlfriend, Captain Laura Hayward, has never been a fan of Pendergast's tactics but gets swept into the investigation as well.

I enjoyed this book immensely.  While some of the details that the authors incorporate into their plots put a strain on my ability to suspend disbelief, I can forgive them due to the fact that the books are just plain fun.  The writing is unpretentious without being condescending.  The action is well paced and the dialogue feels natural. While the plot itself is far-fetched, it doesn't strain at reality as hard as a few of it's predecessors.  It is also the beginning of "The Helen Trilogy" named for Pendergast's wife.  The very idea of a trilogy within a series makes me want to do a little happy dance, and their first attempt at this literary feat ("The Diogenes Trilogy" after Pendergast's brother) was expertly executed.  I feel some very good vibes for the next two volumes along this storyline.

One of the reasons that I love these authors is that they show no signs of quitting.  They have produced a body of quality work with only one notable misfire as far as I'm concerned.  I have plans to read their latest work, Gideon's Sword, despite the fact that Michael Bay (hisss) has already optioned it for a film.  Although as far as Michael Bay (hisss) is concerned, whatever keeps him away from my beloved childhood franchises is fine by me.

One Mustn't Always Be Productive

As a child I was an avid newspaper reader.  Every morning would be spent leaning over the comics with my cereal bowl rested squarely on the horoscopes.  Though the decline of the newspaper medium is well documented, I have been pleasantly surprised to see the drawn comic is thriving in it's new electronic form.  Here are a few of my favorites in no particular order.

Penny Arcade- This is one of my old standby webcomics.  I've been reading them regularly since 2000.  Of course, they are based on one of my favorite subjects, video games.  Tycho puts out a quality blog as well, but since my duties as a father and husband don't allow me to keep up with technology most of it goes over my head.

Girl Genius- I just discovered this one, and it is quickly becoming one of my favorites.  I first heard about Phil and Kaja Foglio during my high school days where the Magic: The Gathering cards that boasted their artwork stood out from the group.  Girl Genius has a triple threat of great story, great humor, and the Steampunk genre that I find irresistible.  Plus the talking cat and Jagerkin.  I could go on.

Walking The Lethe- Definitely for grown-ups.  This story offers what appears to be a modern day take on Dante's Inferno.  The artwork is striking, and the story runs deep.

XKCD- If you haven't heard of this one, you should definitely check it out.  This is a fun one that I often share with my wife and family, and has been the source of several popular internet memes.  Randall Munroe can be funny, satirical, and touching all in a three panel format.

Sinfest- Another old-school panel comic.  This one explores ideas behind religion and morality in the modern world.  The previous sentence makes it seem a lot more serious than it actually is.

Deep Fried-  Jason Yungbluth has put out this surreal and politically charged work since 2001, but he really hit something in mid-2008 when he began to exclusively draw the Weapon Brown storyline.  Weapon Brown is a Frank Miller style action comic set in a post apocalyptic world.  It is also the name of the main character, though he sometimes calls himself "Chuck".  He is a beefed-up and pissed off version of Charlie Brown.  All of the story are parodied versions of newspaper comic characters, and identifying the characters in the background is half the fun.  Note: Weapon Brown is NOT for kids.

So every morning I still have the joy of reading my comics over breakfast.  But now I have to be extra careful not to spill my milk on the computer.  I hope you enjoy some of these as much as I do.

Daddy Rants: A Battle of Wit and Wordplay

I have, on occasion, use this forum to delineate my thoughts on common behaviors that I encounter in my everyday life.  While for the most part, I am an active participant in the lives of my family and close friends, I have always enjoyed people watching.  I try to mitigate my judgmental tendencies with self-deprecating humor.  It is only thanks to my many foibles that I am able to identify those I see around me.

Today's subject is particularly near and dear to my heart.  It is a pastime with a long and storied history and it fits particularly well with the technology of today.  It has many aficionados and I count myself among their number.  The difference is that I at least recognize it for what it is and list it among my guilty pleasures.

I am speaking, of course, about heated debate of a political or controversial nature.

My family, particularly on my father's side, is the reason that I enjoy passionate conversation.  As my wife will tell you, getting us all together is an experiment in multi-target hearing and would be the subject of serial nightmares for any court stenographer.  It could also be compared to standing in a room full of agitated ducks.

Facebook in particular has molded itself well to the ideal format for an argument.  The ability for anybody to write out comments in reaction and counter-reaction to somebody's statement fulfills everything an accomplished arguer could ask for.  You can review and research your opinion as you are creating it, and your opponent's statement is conveniently written out for you to pick apart point by point.

See, the point of debate, especially online, is not to sway the opinion of your opponent or audience.  The point is to flex your intellectual muscle and show off those syntactic skills.  When engaged in a good debate I am so consumed with finding more compelling and eloquent ways to defend my mindset that my audience is rendered inconsequential and my opponent exists only to postulate more philosophical clay pigeons for the double-barreled shotgun of my logic.

It is very similar to blogging.

It is also very similar to masturbation.

Though there are many many more similes to be drawn between using Facebook for passionate debate and the act of self-pleasure I will abandon this line of thought. After all, my mother sometimes reads this blog.

Here are a few reason why Facebook is the perfect forum for matching wits against the masses:

1. The 'like' button is available on everything.  This allows instant feedback on the brilliance (or lack therof) contained in an argument.  For an audience member, it is the equivalent of murmuring general approval.

2. The ability to see individual threads of specific argument is far superior to the # tagging that Twitter employs

3. The ability to see and measure the quality of conversation simply by the number of comments it generates.  I have never seen a post that earned more than twenty comments without being overcome with curiosity and seeing what all the fuss was about.

4. The notification feature allows you to immediately know when somebody has responded, either in agreement or in their continued ignorance.

Regardless of its inherent selfishness and the narcissism it implies, I enjoy both blogging and engaging in online debates.  And while I appreciate each and every one of my readers (especially those of you who 'like' my Facebook page) I know that even if there was nobody out there reading this I would still have to write it, for I have tasted the sweet nectar of sermonizing, and God help me I like it.

Added bonus- embedded video!

This is the job for which I have been searching my whole life.