Daddy Can Cook: Dinner For Two

Fathers have a lot of responsibilities.  We want to be everything to everyone, and we often find ourselves spread too thin.  Projects at work, raising the kids, and keeping the home in good repair all take time out of our schedule.  And more often than not, the only time you have left to spend with your wife is in a state of mutual torpor.  

The husband with too little time to spend with his wife is one of my most hated stereotypes.  Nevertheless, I often find myself wishing for a few hours to unwind and enjoy the company of my mate.  I find that one of the best ways to get that time is to share a meal.  If you really want her to swoon over you, cook that meal for her.

Here's a tasty (and fairly healthy) meal that will impress.

First off, here's what you'll need.

Main Dish:  Pork Tenderloin with Candied Onions

1 unseasoned pork tenderloin

1 medium red onion

2 Tablespoons Brown Sugar

1 Tablespoon Olive Oil

1 teaspoon Apple Cider Vinegar

Side Dish #1:  Rosemary Potatoes

3 medium potatoes

2 teaspoons coarse salt

1 Tablespoon dried rosemary leaves

2 Tablespoons Olive Oil

Side Dish #2: Asparagus Spears

1 Bunch of Asparagus Spears

1 Tablespoon Butter

Salad: Spinach and Strawberry Salad

1 Bag of Spinach

10 Medium Strawberries

1 Package of plain crumbled Feta cheese

1 bag of slivered Almonds

Bottle of Raspberry vinaigrette Dressing

Heres how to prep it.  

Call a babysitter or grandparent and have them take the kids to dinner and a movie.

Now wash your spinach and slice your strawberries.  Toss them together in a medium bowl, cover, and refrigerate until ready to serve.  

Start your oven preheating to 400 degrees.  Remove both ends and all of the papery skin from the onion and slice thinly.  If you cut it vertically, you'll get slices, cut it horizontally and you'll get rings; use whichever you prefer.  Next you need to cut the pork tenderloin into 1 inch thick medallions.  Place the pork medallions into a very hot skillet for 1 minute on each side, just to get a nice brown crust.  Remove the pork from the skillet and put it into a shallow baking dish.  Do not clean out your skillet, put your sliced onions right in there and let them start cooking.  After the onions have cooked for about a minute, add the olive oil, sugar, and cider vinegar.  Cook onions over medium heat, stirring frequently, until they become soft and slightly translucent.  Spoon the onions into the baking dish, using a spatula to scrape all of the sauce over the meat.  Put the baking dish into the oven and bake uncovered for thirty minutes.  When finished, serve medallions covered with a generous helping of onions and juices from the dish.

Now the side dishes.  Peel and wash the potatoes, then cut them into 1 inch cubes.  Put them into a covered microwaveable dish and microwave on full power for five minutes.  While these are cooking, cut the bottom two inches off of the asparagus stalks and put them into a microwaveable dish with 2 Tablespoons of water. Heat the 2 Tablespoons of Olive Oil in a skillet (either clean the one you cooked the pork in or a use a new one) over medium-high heat.  When the potatoes have finished in the microwave put them into the hot skillet and sprinkle the salt and rosemary over them.  Put plastic wrap over the asparagus and microwave on full power for five minutes.  Depending on your confidence in the kitchen, either toss or stir the potatoes until all sides have become a nice golden brown.  When the asparagus finishes in the microwave, drain the water, add the butter and re-cover until the butter melts.  Once the butter has melted, use tongs to toss asparagus until evenly coated.

Now get your salad out of the fridge, portion it into two salad bowls, use your fingers to crumble feta cheese and almonds over the top and drizzle lightly with dressing.  

Plate and serve main dish and think of some conversation to remind your wife why she chose you in the first place.

Lunchroom Life Lessons

Just an adorable little girl.

There are some pretty important lessons in life that we learn outside the classroom.  I remember when my Princess learned one of those.

It was August of 2007.  She was still getting acclimated to our new house, into which we had moved four months before.  She had spent a busy summer playing in the yard, fishing with dad, and visiting the zoo.  We celebrated her fifth birthday just two months before with our family and the one little friend she had made at our old apartment complex.  She was both excited and a little scared to be starting Kindergarten.

I would totally put one of these in my house.

On the first day of school we went in and met her teacher, Miss Williamson.  It was a wonderful classroom with a few tiny desks, lots of toys and games, and even a little loft area the kids could climb around on.  She tentatively explored the room, finding her birthday on the big calendar and the desk with her name on it.  She was a brave girl and didn't shed a tear when it was time for mommy and daddy to leave.

I hadn't been so anxious for the end of the school day in ten years.

Finally the three-o-clock bell rang.  Mommy and Daddy were both at the school ready to receive the report on that critical first impression.  "It was OK," she sighed, "but I would have liked my cookie."

See, our school has all-day Kindergarten.  And the kids eat school lunch just like the older elementary kids.  Her first school lunch included a little chocolate-chip cookie for dessert.  In our family, we are more likely to eat fruit with a meal for dessert, and save the extra special stuff (cookies, cake, etc.) for a mid-afternoon or bedtime snack.

What she had done, upon receiving her school lunch tray, is exactly what she had learned to do at home.  She ate her entree and vegetables, drank her milk, and had intended to keep the cookie for a snack later in the day.  The lunch helpers, all adults, had come around to the Kindergarten table to bus the trays for the little ones.  When the Princess had her tray taken away, she had assumed that the cookie left on it would be held for her later.  It was only when she was talking to a little boy in her class about how much she was looking forward to her treat that she learned the cookie was gone forever.

I remember being struck by the tragic comedy of the situation.  She handled it like a champion, there were no tantrums, no tears or anger, she just pursed her lips and swallowed her disappointment.  Of course, after a trauma like that, we had to go out for a special after-school treat.  And The Princess learned a valuable lesson:  When the establishment hands you a cookie, grab it with both hands and don't let go.

A Father's Guide To The First Trimester

or All Hope Abandon Ye Who Enter Here

Nobody tells you about the first trimester of a pregnancy until it's too late.  The constant nausea, the mood swings, and the exhaustion is almost too much for one person to bear, plus she might be experiencing some discomfort as well.  Navigating the first trimester leaves many fathers feeling like a blind whitewater kayaker barreling down a shark-infested underground river in a leaky bucket with a ping-pong paddle to steer.  But it's your lucky day there, Sport.  I've been through it before and I just might be able to steer you clear of the pointier rocks in your path.

Her mood is changing all the time.  She used to just roll her eyes and scoff at your idiocy but now she realizes that the tiny life inside her is probably going to take after you to some degree.  I'm not going to say that's the only reason she's crying at the drop of a hat, but I'll bet it's right up there with sad songs, movies, and the more poignant cat food commercials.  Just be ready with a hand on her shoulder or a hug when her mood lifts enough that she can bear your touch.  She might act upset with you, she might even think she is upset with you, but these feelings will change.  If you can power through all of this without snapping back you will have built up enough good husband credits to cover at least one trip to Vegas with the boys and a handful of fantasy sports teams.

One of the causes of her bad mood, other than you of course, could be the phenomenon that in our household we refer to as "preggo brain".  This is when your normally responsible lady becomes as forgetful and bubble-headed as a wacky sitcom aunt.  It is during this stage where you make sure never to hand her anything important, like the remote or your car keys, because she will set it down in some place that only she knows exists, such as where new toilet paper rolls come from.  Then she will forget ever having held whatever object she has now lost for all eternity.  Perhaps she is getting it all out of her system.  That way nine months later you can hand her the baby with a reasonable confidence that it will not be misplaced.

Another effect of preggo brain is that her mouth becomes further disconnected from her brain.  You might think that this is no big deal, until you ask her opinion.  Allow me to give you a scenario:  You ask your wife if you should wear a specific red shirt and she answers "yes".  You put on said red shirt and when she sees you she sweetly reminds you that the shirt you are wearing makes you look like a pustulant sore on a rat.  The problem here is that you listened to what she said and not what she meant.  Single word answers don't count anymore.  What you should have done is ask her again, then double check to make sure.  This will annoy her to near-homicidal levels, but it is the only way to make sure you do what she wants.  There is no winning this scenario.  Either you do the wrong thing or you piss her off in finding the right thing to do.  Sorry.

Then there is the misnamed "morning sickness".  Perchance it was named thus due to the fact that it occurs only between 8:00 AM and 7:59 AM.  Who knows?  This is how her body drops the gauntlet and prepares to launch a nine-month campaign against her. Arm yourself with lemonade and soda crackers, and always be on the lookout.  Those times when the nausea subsides she is going to be ravenous.  Bratwurst at 10 PM not the norm in your household?  Just you wait.  It is no small feat to pack an entire day's caloric intake into the 10 minutes she feels well enough to eat.  Have something ready to go.  But whatever you do, always keep your nausea barometer on high alert, for the next few months "What would you like for dinner?" will become a loaded question.

The nine-month campaign I mentioned doesn't begin and end with her stomach either.  This lady was already a churning cauldron of emotions and you went and threw a double handful of hormonal pop rocks into the mix when you knocked her up.  No matter what foul thing her body puts her (and you) through as part of this pregnancy you must remember this:  You've been just as bad and probably worse for every single day that the two of you have been together.  So suck it up and know that if you ever complain about it, even just one word, you will very likely spend the rest of your (now significantly shortened) life wishing you hadn't.

Remember to keep telling yourself that it's O.K. and everything happening is only temporary.  On the other hand, you need to know that, in order to feel better, she is constantly reminding herself that this is all your fault.  And it is.  But it's okay, because the blame she puts on you right now becomes the credit you can take for her happiness when she finally gets to hold your new baby.

The first trimester isn't easy on anybody.  Just keep reminding yourself that millions of fathers the world over are going through the same thing right now.  And many of them go on to impregnate their wives again of their own free will.

You'll have to excuse me.  I have just been asked to prepare crepes with ricotta filling and fresh fruit, a thick slice of ham, and tater-tot casserole.  Which brings me to the second trimester...

Baby Amber Teething Review

Hello everybody.  Thanks for stopping by.

I hope you have all become visitors to my wife's blog as well.  But for those of you who haven't checked it out yet, right now would be a great time to do so.  She is currently reviewing the product and service from BabyAmberTeething.com and has arranged with them to give away some free amber for one of her lucky readers.  The review and rules for the giveaway are available here.  I've decided to offer my opinion on Baby Amber Teething because I have had my own experiences with their product and service.  

The Trophy Wife and I have both had some experience using natural remedies.  I was introduced to the idea of natural/alternative medicine around the age of twelve.  While my experiences never shook my faith in "Western" medicine, I am open to the idea of alleviating minor aches and injuries with simple, natural treatments.  After all, if you trace the treatment of any ailment back more than a hundred or so years, you will generally find a natural treatment that was effective enough to be commonly used.  Amber has been purported to have healing properties since the time of Hippocrates.  It is specifically marketed as a teething aid and has been used as such since prior to World War II.  It is worn as jewelry and the heat of the skin releases Succinic acid which is absorbed through the skin to alleviate pain and reduce inflammation.  It is not supposed to be put in the mouth or used internally.

I have read several product reviews online, and I find that these reviews are largely lacking information in one major area: customer service.  In my experience the level of customer service provided by a company is a make-or-break variable in whether or not I choose to use their product.  I did not initiate contact with Baby Amber Teething, my wife contacted them in her blog promotion process.  Baby Amber Teething was prompt to reply, with an actual human-written e-mail.  We've contacted them a handful of times over the course of our dealings, and they have always been prompt with information and a pleasure to deal with.  These people are appreciative of their customers and are strong advocates of their product.

Baby Amber Teething is located in Lithuania, as much of the world's amber is found on the coast of the Baltic Sea.  Considering the delays and expense of international shipping, I found their $5 flat rate to be very reasonable.  The shipping was quick as well, but delays in that area are unpredictable and rarely the fault of the manufacturer.  Our product arrived sixteen days after we made our selections, which I found to be acceptable.

We ordered the following items: A baby necklace and a small adult necklace, then later an adult bracelet and a larger and more decorated adult necklace.  Everything came with a small hemp bag to store the jewelry and a few extra amber beads.  The jewelry was well constructed and very nice looking.  It looked exactly like what we were expecting from the pictures on the website, and we were happy to see that Baby Amber Teething accurately represented their product in their marketing.

The Princess loves all jewelry of any kind.  So she was thrilled when she was given the small adult necklace.  She doesn't have any ailments so for her the amber is purely an aesthetic decoration.  The Trophy Wife started with wearing the small necklace and then switched to the larger and more extravagant necklace when it arrived.  She was complaining of a sore neck and shoulders before she began wearing the amber, but she claims the aches were alleviated when she began wearing the jewelry.  However, she stopped wearing the jewelry when she discovered that the shoulder and neck aches were distracting her from the powerful morning sickness that she was experiencing.  She loves the design and looks great in the necklace (see the pic on her blog) so I guarantee that it will see frequent rotation in her wide array of adornments.

The Chunky Monkey took to his necklace right away.  He was able to wear it all day and never tried to tug it off or put it in his mouth.  I would have to say that the necklace did a good job of alleviating his teething irritation.  He did not seem as owly or impatient on the days that he wore it.  We did leave it off of him occasionally (more because we forgot to put it on him in the morning) and those were the days that he seemed crankier and more sensitive in his mouth area.  I also love the way he looks in it.  With his curly blonde hair and mischievous smirk I think it makes him look like a baby version of Patrick Swayze from Point Break.

I have been suffering from De Quervain's tenosynovitis since August of last year.  I began wearing the adult bracelet to see if it would alleviate some of the pain in my thumb and wrist.  The bracelet we received does not have a clasp, it used a flexible wire that retained its shape.  It was made up of 130 or so tiny amber beads.  I have pretty big wrists, so I was worried that it might not fit me well.  I was pleasantly surprised that it fit me quite well.  If I had to do it again I would have chosen a style of bracelet that used the larger round or oval beads, as my arm hair would occasionally get caught between the tiny beads.  It wasn't really painful, but it was annoying and it threw off my plan to wear it while sleeping.

So here's the big question: Did it work?  I'm going to say yes.  The pain in my thumb and wrist wasn't as sharp or ongoing when I was wearing the bracelet.  As I said before, Chunky Monkey seemed to feel some relief from his teething woes when he wore his amber as well.  I understand that there is a chance that my relief and my sense of relief in C.M. could be due more to the placebo effect than any real result of wearing the jewelry, but there is value in that as well.  When it comes to minor aches and pains, thinking you feel better is the most important part.

I would give this company and their product my wholehearted recommendation.  They were a pleasure to work with throughout the ordering process, and had the expertise to quickly answer any questions.  Their jewelry looks great and is very competitively priced.  As far as I can tell their product fulfills all of the claims they make as to amber's healing properties.  If you have a teething baby or are looking for some great amber jewelry, you should definitely check out BabyAmberTeething.com.

Daddy Can Cook: Creole Smoked Sausage and Corn Chowder

I love to cook.  And one of my favorite things about cooking is trying out new recipes.  I get about six or seven recipes in my e-mail every day and keep about one or two a week.  When browsing one of my favorite websites, allrecipes.com, I came across this recipe.  I found it intriguing, and have been looking for an opportunity to prepare it for some time now.

I always make a point of reading the comments that go with a recipe that I am going to prepare.  I find that if a recipe modification is mentioned more than a handful of times it is usually a good idea to make that modification yourself.  Fans of the Harry Potter series may recognize this as what I like to call the "Half Blood Prince" effect.

On the AllRecipes site they call this soup a "New Orleans Corn Bisque with Smoked Sausage".  But I disagree with that designation on two points.  First, a bisque is a thick soup made from strained or pureed vegetables or seafood.  A chowder, on the other hand, is a soup that is thickened with flour, usually cream or milk based.  Traditionally a chowder uses crushed ship's biscuit as a thickener, but I've always made it a point not to eat food that would otherwise outlive me, it just seems disrespectful.  Back to the point, this is a chowder and not a bisque as the original recipe claims.  Second I have no idea how the original recipe can claim "New Orleans".  I don't claim any Creole or Cajun ancestry, but neither can this chowder.

I got the opportunity to make this on Wednesday when I volunteered to bring in a dish to the weekly soup dinner our church hosts prior to each Lenten service.  I prepared it as a triple batch, but I'll translate it here to make 8 1-cup servings.

Creole Smoked Sausage and Corn Chowder

Ingredients
1 package (16 oz.) ring-style smoked sausage, cut into 1/2 inch slices. I cut mine into little half moons.
1 medium onion, chopped.
1/4 cup butter. You can use margarine, if you can live with the shame.
1/4 cup all purpose flour
2 tsp. Creole Seasoning. I don't plug specific products, but do yourself a favor and buy Tony Chachere's Creole Seasoning.  Trust me.
1 can (14.75 oz) whole kernel corn.
4 cups milk
2 cups cubed potato (1/2 inch chunks). If you have red potatoes, wash them well and leave the skin on, otherwise peel them.


Do all your cutting and chopping beforehand, it will save you time and make the actual cooking so much easier.  I hate the sausage ends that are mostly casing anyway, so I used them to reward my chef's assistant for being such a pretty girl.

Yes you are. YES YOU ARE!

Melt your butter over medium heat and add the onions.  While the onions are cooking, brown up the smoked sausage in a separate pan. Cook the onions, stirring frequently, until they become tender and transparent.  Mix together your flour and Creole seasoning and pour over the onions.  At this point you're making a roux with the flour and butter which will be the thickening agent for your chowder.  This will get thick and pasty and you need to let it cook for a few minutes while stirring it constantly.  Then you add the milk.  At first the flour/butter mixture will form clumps but if you keep stirring it will smooth out and become a thick and creamy base for your chowder.  Constantly stir the mixture until it is boiling.  Pro Tip: milk does not boil like water, if it does that means you're scorching the hell out of your soup.  Once your milk starts steaming and becomes frothy at the top, it is boiling. Add your sausage, corn, and potatoes to the boiling chowder base and keep stirring as it returns to a boil.  Lower the heat and add Creole seasoning to taste.  Let it simmer, stirring occasionally, for 35 minutes or until the potatoes are tender.  Serve with chopped parsley and grated cheddar garnish. (I didn't do this, but I am usually very pro-cheese and pro-herb)

That is what I did and it made a pretty great soup.  I cannot vouch for it's Creole authenticity, but it is tasty either way.  When I cook this again (and I definitely plan to) here is what I will do differently:

Prepare a double batch.  It is absolutely a "better the next day" dish.

Use Andouille sausage. Adds another level of Creole authenticity, plus it is extra delicious.

Use half the amount of sausage and replace it with equal weight of peeled and de-veined shrimp. O hell yeah.

Use skim milk.  The roux will thicken it either way, and with the butter and sausage you don't really need the extra fat.

Add half again as many potatoes.  The potatoes do a great job absorbing the flavors and always bring a smile to these Irish eyes.

So that's about it.  If you do try this dish please leave a comment and let me know how it worked out, or let me know if you tried any successful recipe modifications.  Happy Cooking!

Parenting Through Grief.

Most of our time as a parent is spent protecting our kids.  We protect them during their infancy by moving dangerous objects out of their reach, by purchasing car-seats and cribs that have been rigorously tested and are subject to recall at the slightest whisper of a defect, and by bundling their tiny bodies against the cold.  As they grow we try to protect them from strangers, inattentive drivers, bullies, drugs, alcohol, bad influences, and a host of other dangers too numerous to count.

Sometimes we find ourselves trying to protect our children from the grief that is felt at a tragedy.  One of the reasons that goldfish make such popular pets is that they all look the same, and because of this there are thousands of children out there who believe that their pet has the longevity of Methuselah.  As a parent the sheltering reaction is second-nature, and we give as little thought to it as we do the next breath we take.  If something is going to hurt my child, then I will do what I can to mitigate or prevent that pain.

Furthermore, we don't share our own grief with our children.  Has your child ever asked you, "What's wrong?" or "Why are you sad?"  Have you ever not answered "Daddy's fine" to those questions?  We prevent our children from seeing our anguish for the same reason that we make them wear a seat-belt.  We are trying to protect them from pain, preserve their innocence, give them just one less reason to be afraid of the dark.

It is here that we are doing our children a disservice.  Our sheltering hand is preventing our children from learning how to grieve.  We have one job, just one, as a parent and that is raising our children to be successful and happy adults.  There are so many situations that they will face in life where we as parents will have no influence.  It is foolish to beg off this perfect chance to teach them one of life's most valuable lessons.

Even worse is the fact that when we avoid and put off our children, we end up frightening and confusing them. I remember feeling that fear and confusion as a cold throbbing weight in the pit of my stomach.  I felt it during all those times of doubt and confusion during my childhood when my adults were hiding the emotions that were written across their faces plain as day.  Even recalling that sensation is enough to bring it back, and it is something I don't ever want my kids to experience.

It is hard because we don't want to damage our precious children.  How can we teach them without causing them undue stress?  How do we teach them to handle pain without overwhelming them?  The answer is by parenting through it.

Parenting through pain means answering our children when they ask "Why are you crying Mommy?".  It means giving them an answer and talking out how you are feeling and telling them why you feel that way in words and descriptions suitable to their age.  By putting your emotions in such terms, you will often find them easier for you to grasp as well.  It also means giving them some hope, and in doing so you give some to yourself.

I don't mean to brag, but I'm doing it right.  My daughter understands tragedy and she knows how to grieve.  We have achieved this by teaching her to recognize and accept her feelings.  My wife and I both have large extended families and as a result have attended several funerals over the years.  We've made it a point to allow Princess to attend the funerals, to say goodbye, and to take part in the togetherness shared by the family afterward.  The payoff has been a little girl who has never hidden her grief.  She knows that any questions she has about death will be answered, so she has never felt that frightened confusion many children feel when faced with questions of mortality.

Any teenager will tell you that parents want to know about their children's lives, every single detail.  So why do we teach them to hide when they are at their most vulnerable, their most influential?  One way or another, they are going to learn something by the way you handle your grief.  It is a matter of deciding whether you want to teach them to open up and talk about it, or to lock it away from themselves and everybody around them.