Here at last

Peanut has arrived.

She was born on Sunday, October 23 at noon.  She was 6 pounds 10 ounces at birth and 19 inches in length.  Both the baby and mommy are doing well after a difficult birth.  We are thankful to the talented group of doctors and nurses that helped bring her into the world.

Here are a few pictures.

Very quiet to start out.  RacDad was pretty worried until she finally let out a squeal.

First Cuddle With Mommy

Princess was at a Girl Scout Halloween party earlier.  Still in face paint.

RacDad with all the kids.

Bright eyes and a suspicious stare.

A Father's Guide To The First Trimester

or All Hope Abandon Ye Who Enter Here

Nobody tells you about the first trimester of a pregnancy until it's too late.  The constant nausea, the mood swings, and the exhaustion is almost too much for one person to bear, plus she might be experiencing some discomfort as well.  Navigating the first trimester leaves many fathers feeling like a blind whitewater kayaker barreling down a shark-infested underground river in a leaky bucket with a ping-pong paddle to steer.  But it's your lucky day there, Sport.  I've been through it before and I just might be able to steer you clear of the pointier rocks in your path.

Her mood is changing all the time.  She used to just roll her eyes and scoff at your idiocy but now she realizes that the tiny life inside her is probably going to take after you to some degree.  I'm not going to say that's the only reason she's crying at the drop of a hat, but I'll bet it's right up there with sad songs, movies, and the more poignant cat food commercials.  Just be ready with a hand on her shoulder or a hug when her mood lifts enough that she can bear your touch.  She might act upset with you, she might even think she is upset with you, but these feelings will change.  If you can power through all of this without snapping back you will have built up enough good husband credits to cover at least one trip to Vegas with the boys and a handful of fantasy sports teams.

One of the causes of her bad mood, other than you of course, could be the phenomenon that in our household we refer to as "preggo brain".  This is when your normally responsible lady becomes as forgetful and bubble-headed as a wacky sitcom aunt.  It is during this stage where you make sure never to hand her anything important, like the remote or your car keys, because she will set it down in some place that only she knows exists, such as where new toilet paper rolls come from.  Then she will forget ever having held whatever object she has now lost for all eternity.  Perhaps she is getting it all out of her system.  That way nine months later you can hand her the baby with a reasonable confidence that it will not be misplaced.

Another effect of preggo brain is that her mouth becomes further disconnected from her brain.  You might think that this is no big deal, until you ask her opinion.  Allow me to give you a scenario:  You ask your wife if you should wear a specific red shirt and she answers "yes".  You put on said red shirt and when she sees you she sweetly reminds you that the shirt you are wearing makes you look like a pustulant sore on a rat.  The problem here is that you listened to what she said and not what she meant.  Single word answers don't count anymore.  What you should have done is ask her again, then double check to make sure.  This will annoy her to near-homicidal levels, but it is the only way to make sure you do what she wants.  There is no winning this scenario.  Either you do the wrong thing or you piss her off in finding the right thing to do.  Sorry.

Then there is the misnamed "morning sickness".  Perchance it was named thus due to the fact that it occurs only between 8:00 AM and 7:59 AM.  Who knows?  This is how her body drops the gauntlet and prepares to launch a nine-month campaign against her. Arm yourself with lemonade and soda crackers, and always be on the lookout.  Those times when the nausea subsides she is going to be ravenous.  Bratwurst at 10 PM not the norm in your household?  Just you wait.  It is no small feat to pack an entire day's caloric intake into the 10 minutes she feels well enough to eat.  Have something ready to go.  But whatever you do, always keep your nausea barometer on high alert, for the next few months "What would you like for dinner?" will become a loaded question.

The nine-month campaign I mentioned doesn't begin and end with her stomach either.  This lady was already a churning cauldron of emotions and you went and threw a double handful of hormonal pop rocks into the mix when you knocked her up.  No matter what foul thing her body puts her (and you) through as part of this pregnancy you must remember this:  You've been just as bad and probably worse for every single day that the two of you have been together.  So suck it up and know that if you ever complain about it, even just one word, you will very likely spend the rest of your (now significantly shortened) life wishing you hadn't.

Remember to keep telling yourself that it's O.K. and everything happening is only temporary.  On the other hand, you need to know that, in order to feel better, she is constantly reminding herself that this is all your fault.  And it is.  But it's okay, because the blame she puts on you right now becomes the credit you can take for her happiness when she finally gets to hold your new baby.

The first trimester isn't easy on anybody.  Just keep reminding yourself that millions of fathers the world over are going through the same thing right now.  And many of them go on to impregnate their wives again of their own free will.

You'll have to excuse me.  I have just been asked to prepare crepes with ricotta filling and fresh fruit, a thick slice of ham, and tater-tot casserole.  Which brings me to the second trimester...

You Can't Contain It

Chunky Monkey has been expanding his mobility for nearly six months.  Like many babies, he started out by exploring the horizontal axis.  In a matter of weeks, he had thoroughly reconnoitered the living room area, and was interested in expanding down the hall and into the dining room.  Chiefly due to his propensity to identify objects through ingestion, we decided to limit his movement to just those areas where he can be easily seen and intercepted should he attempt  to eat anything more harmful than the occasional clump of dog fur.

From the beginning we knew that he considered the situation untenable.

Thankfully, he was powerless to change it, until he made a shocking discovery.

Using his powers of standing and his increased arm and leg strength, he can surmount the obstacles put in his path by his nemeses.

The photos that follow were not doctored in any way.

He never said as much, but I could see in his eyes the contempt he held for the ottoman/laundry basket barricade.  Congratulations on obtaining the daddy chair, son.  You've earned it.

Until next time.

Baby Amber Teething Review

Hello everybody.  Thanks for stopping by.

I hope you have all become visitors to my wife's blog as well.  But for those of you who haven't checked it out yet, right now would be a great time to do so.  She is currently reviewing the product and service from BabyAmberTeething.com and has arranged with them to give away some free amber for one of her lucky readers.  The review and rules for the giveaway are available here.  I've decided to offer my opinion on Baby Amber Teething because I have had my own experiences with their product and service.  

The Trophy Wife and I have both had some experience using natural remedies.  I was introduced to the idea of natural/alternative medicine around the age of twelve.  While my experiences never shook my faith in "Western" medicine, I am open to the idea of alleviating minor aches and injuries with simple, natural treatments.  After all, if you trace the treatment of any ailment back more than a hundred or so years, you will generally find a natural treatment that was effective enough to be commonly used.  Amber has been purported to have healing properties since the time of Hippocrates.  It is specifically marketed as a teething aid and has been used as such since prior to World War II.  It is worn as jewelry and the heat of the skin releases Succinic acid which is absorbed through the skin to alleviate pain and reduce inflammation.  It is not supposed to be put in the mouth or used internally.

I have read several product reviews online, and I find that these reviews are largely lacking information in one major area: customer service.  In my experience the level of customer service provided by a company is a make-or-break variable in whether or not I choose to use their product.  I did not initiate contact with Baby Amber Teething, my wife contacted them in her blog promotion process.  Baby Amber Teething was prompt to reply, with an actual human-written e-mail.  We've contacted them a handful of times over the course of our dealings, and they have always been prompt with information and a pleasure to deal with.  These people are appreciative of their customers and are strong advocates of their product.

Baby Amber Teething is located in Lithuania, as much of the world's amber is found on the coast of the Baltic Sea.  Considering the delays and expense of international shipping, I found their $5 flat rate to be very reasonable.  The shipping was quick as well, but delays in that area are unpredictable and rarely the fault of the manufacturer.  Our product arrived sixteen days after we made our selections, which I found to be acceptable.

We ordered the following items: A baby necklace and a small adult necklace, then later an adult bracelet and a larger and more decorated adult necklace.  Everything came with a small hemp bag to store the jewelry and a few extra amber beads.  The jewelry was well constructed and very nice looking.  It looked exactly like what we were expecting from the pictures on the website, and we were happy to see that Baby Amber Teething accurately represented their product in their marketing.

The Princess loves all jewelry of any kind.  So she was thrilled when she was given the small adult necklace.  She doesn't have any ailments so for her the amber is purely an aesthetic decoration.  The Trophy Wife started with wearing the small necklace and then switched to the larger and more extravagant necklace when it arrived.  She was complaining of a sore neck and shoulders before she began wearing the amber, but she claims the aches were alleviated when she began wearing the jewelry.  However, she stopped wearing the jewelry when she discovered that the shoulder and neck aches were distracting her from the powerful morning sickness that she was experiencing.  She loves the design and looks great in the necklace (see the pic on her blog) so I guarantee that it will see frequent rotation in her wide array of adornments.

The Chunky Monkey took to his necklace right away.  He was able to wear it all day and never tried to tug it off or put it in his mouth.  I would have to say that the necklace did a good job of alleviating his teething irritation.  He did not seem as owly or impatient on the days that he wore it.  We did leave it off of him occasionally (more because we forgot to put it on him in the morning) and those were the days that he seemed crankier and more sensitive in his mouth area.  I also love the way he looks in it.  With his curly blonde hair and mischievous smirk I think it makes him look like a baby version of Patrick Swayze from Point Break.

I have been suffering from De Quervain's tenosynovitis since August of last year.  I began wearing the adult bracelet to see if it would alleviate some of the pain in my thumb and wrist.  The bracelet we received does not have a clasp, it used a flexible wire that retained its shape.  It was made up of 130 or so tiny amber beads.  I have pretty big wrists, so I was worried that it might not fit me well.  I was pleasantly surprised that it fit me quite well.  If I had to do it again I would have chosen a style of bracelet that used the larger round or oval beads, as my arm hair would occasionally get caught between the tiny beads.  It wasn't really painful, but it was annoying and it threw off my plan to wear it while sleeping.

So here's the big question: Did it work?  I'm going to say yes.  The pain in my thumb and wrist wasn't as sharp or ongoing when I was wearing the bracelet.  As I said before, Chunky Monkey seemed to feel some relief from his teething woes when he wore his amber as well.  I understand that there is a chance that my relief and my sense of relief in C.M. could be due more to the placebo effect than any real result of wearing the jewelry, but there is value in that as well.  When it comes to minor aches and pains, thinking you feel better is the most important part.

I would give this company and their product my wholehearted recommendation.  They were a pleasure to work with throughout the ordering process, and had the expertise to quickly answer any questions.  Their jewelry looks great and is very competitively priced.  As far as I can tell their product fulfills all of the claims they make as to amber's healing properties.  If you have a teething baby or are looking for some great amber jewelry, you should definitely check out BabyAmberTeething.com.

Happy Birthday Chunky Monkey!

It has been a year since my son entered our lives.  It amazes me how he has enhanced the lives of everybody in our family.  Because of him, my wife found a new undertaking with her blog and contacts within the online Mommy community.  My daughter has blossomed as a big sister and her remarkable skills in dependability and independence have been reflected at school as well as at home.  As for me I'm just thankful to have the opportunity to raise the next generation of manhood.

Here's a brief recap of his life so far:

March 21, 2010

We arrive at the hospital at 7:50 AM.  At 3:13 he shows up mad as hell.

My memory might be a little foggy, but I don't think he calmed down for a few months.  We did manage to snap off a few pictures between his meltdowns.

By Easter of that year, we had settled into our happy family routine.

He celebrated Mother's Day in style.

In June, both he and big sister were baptized.

Over the rest of the summer his personality really started to develop.

By Autumn, The Princess was ready to take on her share of the baby work.

He loved Halloween, even though we wouldn't let him eat any candy.  That was also when he started crawling.

Once he was mobile, there was no stopping him for the rest of the winter.

Once he could get around, he quickly caught up with what he considered to be the most interesting family member.

Which brings us to today.  Our first try with cake didn't work out, but when we realized that he, like his mother, doesn't like frosting, it was all systems go.  Happy Birthday Champ, Daddy loves you.

Time For a Change

I mentioned in my last post that our son is approaching his first birthday.  Lately I've found myself reflecting on the last year and the changes we've seen in our life.  I've already talked about the adaptations we're making, but there are some things that we got used to right away.

One of those things is the use of cloth diapers.  Anybody who has spoken to my wife or visited her blog knows that we have been using cloth diapers exclusively since my son was six weeks old.  I can honestly say that this one of the best decisions we've made in the past year.  In the interest of full disclosure, it was my wife's decision, but since it turned out so well I've decided to take partial credit.  I figure I'm allowed since I've changed the majority of those diapers in the months since then.

My wife is the cloth diapering advocate in our family, I'm the guy who is just along for the ride.  But there might be some dads out there who haven't managed to weasel their way out of this decision, so I'll relate my experience with cloth diapers.  For what it's worth, after trying cloth, I can't imagine going back to disposables.

The one thing that turns most people off about using cloth diapers is the initial cost.  We ended up purchasing our initial set of 24 diapers for $320.  We purchased the necessary accessories for another $60.  That included a diaper pail (normal kitchen garbage pail with pedal activated lid), two washable waterproof diaper pail liners (buying just one makes laundry day tough), a set of 24 flannel baby wipes and an electric wipe warmer.

The diapers we purchased were Fuzzibunz one-size diapers.  "One-size" means that there are adjustable elastic straps around the legs and rear of the diaper.  By adjusting those straps as well as making use of the options for snapping the diaper closed, the single diaper can fit any baby from a newborn to a toddler.  The other option is "sized" which offers a more customized fit but will need to be replaced when the baby outgrows it.

Our diapers are called "pocket diapers".  This means that there are two layers in the diaper: the waterproof outer layer that blocks leaks and the soft absorbent layer that sits against the baby's skin.  Between these two layers is an insert made from some absorbent fabric to absorb the liquid waste (pee).  I could go into the other options for diaper style, but I don't want to fill up the internet.

We also purchased six hemp inserts.  These weren't completely necessary but they have been very useful, especially for overnight.  Hemp can absorb much more than the micro-terry cloth inserts that came with the diaper, but it takes longer to absorb the liquid.  We've eliminated overnight leaks by putting a hemp insert in behind the micro-terry, which allows the cloth to pull the liquid away from baby's skin immediately, allowing the hemp ample time to absorb all the liquid.  The 6 hemp inserts cost us an additional $25.

So the total bill for the diapers and accessories has come in under $500.  But there are upkeep costs as well.  Cloth diapers are made to be washed in any standard washing machine, but they require a special kind of detergent.  Using "normal" detergents on cloth diapers will significantly decrease their absorbency as well as increase the chance for a chemical rash on your baby.  The forerunner among cloth diaper specialty detergents is Rockin Green.  Comparatively speaking, it come to about $0.30 per load, half that for an HE washer.  A big bottle of Tide still runs about $0.25 per load, so the nickel difference takes a long time to add up.  Our cloth diapering accounts for an extra three loads of laundry per week, which we take care of overnight.  Our cloth diapering will cost us an additional $100 per year in extra laundry loads (water/gas) and extra detergent costs.  You're going to have to trust my numbers here, but know that I did an hour's worth of math to write the previous sentence.

The bottom line is that the total cost of cloth diapering our kid comes to somewhere between $700-800 depending on how long it takes him to potty train.  Disposables cost between $1600-$2300 over the same period of time.  For me, the money saved is the paramount pro-cloth diapering argument.  The environmental slant is great, but it's really just a side effect of responsible spending.  And another thing, when the Monkey is potty trained, I'll still have the diapers for baby #3 (coming this October).  And when I'm completely done producing offspring, I anticipate I'll be able to recoup about $100-200 by selling all our stuff.

The only other arguments against cloth I've ever heard are "not enough time" and "poo-phobia".  As far as time goes the fact is that laundry is a passive activity.  A person will spend more time on a single shower shower than all the active time it takes to bring a load of diapers from dirty and wet to clean and dry.

And if you can't deal with the fluids then you should have bought a plant.

But he JUST got here...

My son's first birthday is just around the corner.  It's strange to me how his presence still feels so new in our home.  We started making adjustments to our life based on his existence well over a year ago, and the time that has passed since then has been spent constantly making modifications to our behavior, our daily schedule, and every other aspect of our life all to suit him.


I've come to the conclusion that what I described above is a fairly complete declaration of the early years of child rearing.  Before the Chunky Monkey came along we were able to plan or anticipate most of our daily activities.  Since his arrival we have been required to play it by ear almost every day.  I can only compare it to an experienced stage performer moving from a role he has held for years to doing a nightly improv show.


But it is understandable.  Every day Chunks is a slightly different person.  His dietary needs change, then his sleep schedule changes, then his mobility changes, and then some other aspect of his life changes or the cycle begins anew.  We are left to scramble along behind him, adjusting where we can to accommodate his development and try to salvage some recognizable form of the life we once knew and loved.


I may have been too cynical there.  The truth is that our life has been vastly enriched by my son's presence.  Even though I often feel that we are still in the "adjustment" phase of having a new baby, I feel like he has always been alive in our hearts.  I think that the sentiment of "I couldn't imagine life without this (person/ technology/appliance)" has grown stale, personally I can't imagine shoveling the driveway without my iPod, so the same phrase just can't convey the depth of my son's impact on the lives of those around him.


So we modify, we adapt, and we do our best to give him what he needs.  And if we can't figure out what those needs are right now,  we can always rest assured that by the time we do figure it out, those needs will have changed to something else.

But You Should Have Seen The Other Guy

The Chunky Monkey can move!  

We've known ever since he was in the womb that this little man wouldn't be satisfied to stay still, but his progress in terms of locomotion and velocity has been remarkable.  He started crawling a few days before last Halloween when he was seven months old.  By eight months old he started pulling himself up on objects.  This is actually pretty standard development for a baby, but when his sister was the same age, she was content to sit still.  The Princess was that baby that you could put down and know with reasonable certainty that she would remain where she was placed until you came back and moved her again.  So his normal development is remarkable to me.

When he started to pull himself to a standing position, he would only do so in the bathtub.  To this day his favorite bath-time game is Daddy wants you to sit down NOW!, though For the love of God, PLEASE stop drinking the bathwater! remains a close runner-up.

Mommy had to take that picture.  You can see Daddy's arm readied in case of a slippery grip.  

For a while he only wanted to stand while in the bathtub, but nothing lasts very long when they're that age.  All too soon he was pulling himself up on his toys, the furniture, and the legs of taller people.  Now he is letting go once he gets up there, enjoying a few seconds of unsupported standing glory before gravity returns him to his usual altitude.  Sometimes he meets a few obstacles on his way back down, which has given him the look of a prizefighter.

Although I have no idea where he learned that world weary stare,  I think its safe to say that this photograph was taken just prior to naptime. 

The silver lining in my son's self-inflicted facial contusions is that they all occur on the left side of his face.  If he is trying to catch himself with his left hand it may be that he is left-hand-dominant.  If that is the case his sinister condition will give him a leg up should he follow a career in professional baseball.  It's worth a shot anyway.

Soon he will be walking, running, climbing trees and chasing the dog.  I imagine I'll see several more bruises in the future, though I don't imagine they will work as much of a deterrent. At least I'll get my exercise trying to keep up.

What The Boy Wants, The Boy Gets

My son is like an onion.  Oftentimes, peeling back an outer covering exposes an outsider to some offensive vapors.  However, right now I am focusing on the fact that he is a man of many layers; tiny, adorable layers.  For example, sometimes he is content to cuddle in with Mommy or Daddy while we make various cooing noises over his hair, ears, eyes, or whatever aspect of his being captures our attention.  But in the span of a hummingbird’s heartbeat, his mood will change to that of an uninterested emperor and woe to the jester that is too slow to inspire his whimsy.  One of the ways he differs from his older sister is his range of emotion and the speed at which he traverses that range.  This has led to an ongoing search for various activities and distractions.

His favorite activities can be summed up in one category:  grabbing things that are fragile, expensive, or dangerous and firing off a million-dollar smile as Mommy, Daddy, Sister, and sometimes the dog scramble to get it before he breaks, ruins, or swallows it.

I should note that, out of all of our family members, he is the only one who enjoys this pastime.

Like all parents, I am often called upon to entertain and enrich our baby’s young life.  And like all parents, I would settle for five minutes of solid distraction.  He loves colors and music, so we will often find videos on YouTube and watch them together.  It was during one of those sessions that I was searching for music cartoons and came across this:

This has become my son’s favorite thing ever.  He dances.  He sings along.  He LOVES this video.

Apparently this Gummibär has been a bona-fide internet phenomenon since its debut in 2007.  That song alone has been viewed nearly sixty million times.  All the songs by this bear are in the same house/techno style and have seen similar popularity on YouTube. 

I’m not sure how to feel about it.  I have a very high opinion of my own tastes in music, and I’ve tried to pass them on to my children.  (Note to parents: this is a difficult battle and you will never approve of all the music your children love.  After all, compare your tastes to that of your parents.)  I know this is throwaway bubblegum phenomenon but he loves it so much and is absolutely adorable to watch while he dances along.

I suppose the best I can hope for is to not find myself humming the song hours later.